


Yellow

by chronicAngel (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Cheating, Dave has hurt feelings, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, M/M, POV Second Person, but you know, not really - Freeform, quadrants, whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 18:00:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12114177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/chronicAngel





	Yellow

You've never cared one way or the other about burgundy. It's a dull color, and when it contains excitement, it has a tendency to hurt your eyes. Terezi would comment that it smells like wine, and you would counter with the fact that she'd never actually _had_ wine, back in the days when the two of you were closer, but you suppose that second thing isn't really true anymore.

You think of bronze as nothing more than an overrated precious metal. It can be a nice color, but that doesn't make you care any more about it, just acknowledge that it's sort of nice sometimes. You don't have to like something just because it's nice.

You think that jade is a calming color. It's a blue enough green that it doesn't hurt your head, and it's got an elegance to it that you can appreciate, even if that's not a trait you bother to associate with yourself as it's too much of a struggle. It's nice to be around, you think, but it's hard for you to find a color you like very much that compliments it, unfortunately. Not many things have the grace of that particular shade of green.

There was a time in your life when teal was your favorite color. You don't think it is anymore, but you haven't really thought of anything that explicitly replaces it yet. You like other colors a bit more, now, but you'll always appreciate the color. It took a long time for you to even admit to yourself that you even liked it, arguing that you weren't actually that big a fan of blue any time you tried to convince yourself. That thought wasn't wrong. The other two shades of blue in your life are not ones you like. One has a tendency to make you feel sick, though you think that's more because of the memories you associate it with (even if some of those memories, you have to admit, aren't completely terrible). The other is just... dark, and mysterious, not something that you're around very much. You don't really bother with it.

You used to like purple. There was even a while where you thought it might be your second favorite. You don't like purple very much anymore. Purple tends to make your nose scrunch up with that awful feeling like you're about to sneeze but can't quite get it out, or causes a headache to come out of no where with memories of ripening betrayals.

Red has always been your least favorite color. You think that it always will be, even if you hate it slightly less than you used to. There are colors that you acknowledge have almost dampened your dislike of the color. Purple is one. Purple is a color that you associate with pain, with yourself and the people you care about being hurt. It's too dark, it hides too much, it doesn't go with anything else and the worst part is that some people like it more for that. You can't stand it. You can't stand that people like such a disgusting color more for the very same things you hate about it.

You miss yellow.

Yellow hasn't been in your life for a long time, and it's jarring, because it used to be a daily annoyance, something that was constantly bothering you, and yet your life feels almost like it has lost something without it. It's important to you in a way that not a lot of other things are. It's something that you keep close and personal, don't talk to anyone about because you know that none of your other friends care too much about yellow. It's not a particularly appealing color, after all.

When Sollux comes back into your life, you cry. You cry and hug him and lift him off the ground despite a significant height difference and once you compose yourself you punch his arm and make him swear not to tell anyone about this moment. He swears, but he's smirking in a way that makes you pretty sure he's lying.

You try to hate yellow. You try your damnedest, because you like other colors and you're sure as hell not ready to put yellow above those colors, but you want it there, somewhere, in your life and with you and you want it to be important again. Then again, you don't think it ever really stopped being important. So you try to paint over the yellow. You try to disguise it, to hide it with thick, ugly shades of black. It works, for a little while. You manage to convince yourself for a short while that you hate yellow, that it's a disgusting color like condiments you hate and pastels that give you headaches for days or weeks at a time. It's a headache that you try to convince yourself you haven't missed for sweeps.

So you and Sollux try to be black. But the issue with painting over yellow is that it's obnoxious. It's something that you've always liked about yellow, really, but it's not something that is particularly helpful in your current predicament. It's really, _really_ not helpful when Dave finds out. He had told you, once, before you tried to be in a relationship, that he didn't understand quadrants. You were still on the meteor. You were working on becoming friends, but that was more for the sake of everyone else than for yourselves at the time. He confessed that he was never really mad at Terezi, per say. You wanted to punch him when he broke up with her over quadrants, wanted to punch him in his stupid face until he bled the same disgusting red that you do and those stupid shades were snapped in half.

It's something that you're sort of embarrassed about now, and you'll admit that. You don't dislike Dave anymore, and looking back on when you did, you think it was honestly rather childish of you, and you have to admit that a lot of it stemmed from your love of the color teal. But you recognize later that maybe you should have taken that conversation all those sweeps ago as a sign, a sign that you shouldn't have tried to get together with Dave because he thinks quadrants are "weird," because they make him "uncomfortable," because he looks at a fundamental part of your life and says that it's messed up without even trying to understand.

He walks in on you and Sollux.

You're just kissing. It's normal for the black quadrant, but you don't really think that's what this is anymore. You've been trying to deny it. Sollux has too. If Dave has noticed anything you're sure he's been trying to deny it too, even if he hasn't said anything to you.

Dave is angry about it. He screams at you, and you don't even catch what he's saying, you don't catch any of it and his yells are just white noise. You're not kissing Sollux anymore, but you're staring at him with wide eyes and heavy breaths. You aren't sure if Dave is screaming at you or at Sollux, and you're not sure you want to know, but after a second, Sollux stands and you think he's going to storm out. You're scared. You're not scared of either of them. You're not scared of what's going to happen. You and Dave have had fights before. You've been through break-ups before.

He punches Dave. Right in the face, in the nose, and it bleeds, and you flinch but you don't feel bad.

You and Dave break up. It's a fight that lasts four days and it's the longest fight you've ever been in. It's impressive. You and Terezi once argued for two days straight because you said that legislacerators were stupid, and you thought that nothing would ever top that. But this does. Dave does. You hate it. Sollux comforts you after Dave leaves. You don't know what you're doing when you kiss him again. It's not black, and both of you know it. It feels better than pretending to be black did.


End file.
